2014 19/10 Mostly Nat.

Not much happen since I came back from Vienna.
Or at least that's what I feel .. I don't feel much.
Mother of Nasser passed away .. and so did sister of Basem ..
People that I know very well are dead .. and I don't feel much ..
Nathalie came and got angry and went away .. I didn't even blink . I was so calm .. as if nothing matter to me any more .
I sent money to family .. is that helping me to calm .. no .. nothing that happen around me makes a difference ..
However I am still doing what I have to do .. I am sending money .. calling around for condolences and make sure that duties are to be done ..
other than that .. there is nothing that I am doing by wish.. no wishes left ..

I sow chad hoops .. I wasn't impressed .. didn't go to see Baiba 's concert . .. that's mostly because I don't have to ..

I am talking to others .. trying not say much about what I feel .. but there is nothing to talk about anyway ..I feel nothing .. and don't want to expect anything any more.